portrait of a cooperant

even if it does not seem so, the life here is quite difficult for the cooperants. maybe not materially difficult, but psicologically is not so easy to deal with the poverty and the insecurity; besides, you have to bear that in every place you go, except the bars for "whites", you are always in the center of attention and you are constantly labelled as the one who has the money. and if you want to go out, you can not go to the cinema (there are no cinemas), you can not have a walk in the center (it's risky), and you end up going always to the same place and with the same people. your choises, that is, are quite limited.
sometimes, but not so rarely, people come here and get crazy: because the money here gives you a huge power, the power to do almost everything you want, and it's easy to think you are the king and behave consequently.
moreover, here, i noticed that myself, it's full of people you can not expect to meet in italy, in the bar under your house where you go in the morning to get your coffee. they state it quite clearly: i couldn't live in europe, they say, it's like a prison for me, i don't feel free. in a way, they came here because they didn't feel at home there, and not because they trusted in cooperation (as i did when i left). :)
seldom, most "normal" (the ones in the bar under your house) peoples are stable couples, most of times both cooperants (not the couples composed by a 50 year old german NU offical and a 20 year old local girl). maybe it means that to cope with such a situation being two is better than being alone. the others, like my ngo mates, are "mad": not bad, i mean, but, to say it by one word, restless.
as far as i'm concerned, after one month here, i feel quite tired. not stressed, but tired of strong emotions and willing of confort. that's why i'm happy to go back to italy for christmas holydays.
and also because i'm learning a lot here, but my home is europe.